One wedding, one open seat, one date to lock in — and I'm here to make sure it's settled. Let's get it on the calendar.
22 · Woodstock, GA · allegedly fun at weddings
You listed four requirements. Most applicants will skim them. I treated them like a spec sheet.
You asked for two things: a resume and a strongest argument. The resume is everything on this page. Here's the argument.
Weddings are literally my profession. I've worked hundreds of them — I know when the dance floor opens, how to charm a table of strangers, and how to be the date people are still asking about a month later. Every other applicant is showing up to their first rodeo. I'm coming out of retirement, and this time I finally get to stay for the cake.
The rest of this page is the supporting evidence. Take your time. I'll be here.
— Jared
Born in Canada, raised in Georgia since I was four — so I say "sorry" and "y'all" in the same sentence. I'm 22 (23 any minute now), I lift or run every single day, and I'm outside every chance I get. I'll try any sport and be dangerous at it by the third attempt. I cook for real, and I can fix or build just about anything.
My friends would tell you I'm funny, responsible, and the kind of guy you bring home — their words, I'm just reporting them. Honestly? I'm looking for the real thing. But if this starts as one great wedding date, that's a pretty good first chapter.
Wakesurfing is the whole personality from May to September. I'll teach you — that's a standing offer.
If there's a trail with a jump on it within two hours of Atlanta, I've probably hit it. Sundays are for the mountains.
My idea of a perfect day off is a trail I haven't hiked yet and a sunset at the top. You're invited.
Cooking after the gym is the routine — real meals, not sad chicken and rice. Bring an appetite.
Lifting and long runs are the non-negotiables — it's the engine behind everything else on this page. Yes, I'll still share the dessert.
I help run a wedding linen company. Which means I have professionally attended more weddings than anyone you know — I just usually leave before the cake. Take me as your date and, for once, I get to stay for the good part.
Your posting identified no risks. I commissioned an independent audit to be sure. Findings: zero red flags, one (1) chest tattoo, and a Canadian upbringing — so worst case, I'm aggressively polite to your entire family.
You asked for the superior wedding date. The evidence is above, the references are willing, and the suit is already pressed. All that's left is your decision.
You're hired →